HMADD - A startling disorder

It is confirmed (not by a licensed medical official). I have HMADD. I am not a genius, but I do frequent medical websites. And even though it is not listed as a disorder, I know I have it. I suffer from Home-Makers Attention Deficit Disorder. It is an ugly disease and I am thinking about starting a support group, but I can't focus long enough to actually do it. I have had it for awhile. I think it is genetic. My mom has it. My sisters have it. Not sure if it is contagious, but some of my neighbors have it too. It is like Herpes. I don't think you can get rid of it. I have tried. Take this for example; I brought something into my bedroom to put away. Our office is a room off of our bedroom. The computer looked at me, I looked at it. Before I know it, I have pissed away an hour checking emails...all because I came to put something away in the near vicinity. But it's not just that the computer is a distraction from a less desirable task. It is that I cannot focus. I have the attention span of a fruit fly on pure fructose. I go to put away laundry, and I end up trying on the shorts I was thinking about wearing when it hits 80 degrees. The button pops off, so the next thing I know, we are driving to WalMart to buy a needle and thread. While at WalMart, I see that potting soil is on sale. So I buy some dirt, pansies and a trowel. When I get home, I start to pot my new flowers. I spilled some dirt in my husband's precious sanctuary (aka garage) so I go into the house to get some paper towels and the dust vac. Then I notice that the charger to the dust vac is missing. I instantly suspect the 7 year old. So I go to his bedroom where I find his drawers spilling open their contents (my huge pet peeve). So I start reorganizing his drawers just enough so I can shut them. Some of the clothes in the room are dirty, so I head to the laundry room...where I'm struck with a lightning rod of brain activity "Ahh yes....this is where I began about three hours prior." But now I have started and left a minimum of 4 projects. I have been moving and working all day, but now the laundry is still undone, I have a pair of unwearable shorts, a new spool of thread, 12 plants, three pots, dirt on the garage floor, a dead dust vac and a half-organized child's room. Shoot me now. I feel like I am on the house cleaning tread mill...and neither I nor the house look any better. My home-making life sounds like the book "If you Give a Pig a Pancake". That author wrote a whole series about cute animals with ADD, and she made millions off of it. Millions! Filthy, lucky bitch. She basically took my life, made me into a pancake loving pig and now she's living the good life. Well, I am not enamored with my inability to hold onto a task for more than three seconds (but pancakes do sound pretty damn good right now....I wonder if I have syrup?) DAMN IT! I can already tell you, I will head down to the kitchen to make breakfast, but on my way, I will see that elusive sock to the unmatched pair that I have been looking for. The other one has been sitting on top of my washing machine waiting for its match. So I will take the sock to the laundry room where I see the still unfolded pile of clothes. So I will start folding the clothes. Then the kids will wake up and need to get dressed. But they won't want any of the clothes that I just folded so we will find other clothes (in their half-organized drawers) and by then it will be too late to make pancakes. So we will have to have cold cereal. But I still want pancakes. And guess what? I am out of syrup. So we will have to go to the grocery store where I will be enticed with the sales ad about the salmon for sale, so I will mentally plan and buy all of the items for a great grilled salmon dinner. And when I get home, I will realize I forgot the damn syrup!!

6 comments:

redfraggle37 said...
April 20, 2010 at 11:21 AM

LMAO, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 23...and that sounds like my brain for sure.

Romanita said...
April 20, 2010 at 11:30 AM

Oh sooooo true! Oh man! So great to see I'm not the only woman that suffers from this disorder!! LOL!!

LTM said...
April 20, 2010 at 11:33 AM

Thank you for this diagnosis. Now that I know I've got HMADD, do they make a drug for it? Oh, wait...

Tiff said...
April 21, 2010 at 2:48 PM

ROFL!!!! This is so me! I, too have HMADD!!!

Meg said...
April 22, 2010 at 6:57 PM

we totally need a support group!! I have it too!!!! ;)

Ann said...
May 20, 2010 at 4:15 AM

OK that is so me. Although I bet you haven't gone as far as only writing half of the address on an envelope before mailing the card because you got distracted :D

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