Coming out of the closet...

If you've been a loyal reader you'll recall we've touched on a few spring-related topics: going to the park, what the inside of one's house looks like in early spring, spring break trips, prepping for bathing suit season, and so on... **This is where I will politely refrain from making any harsh, critical commentary towards those who would not be considered loyal or regular readers and hope that rather than be offended by remarks that are clearly implied but were never actually made, you'll become regular readers and visit often (this is the part where you might go back to the links that I have oh-so-thoughtfully provided for you above)...and please do come back and bring friends!** But I digress...


Nothing says springtime like my baby's gut hanging out of her shirt, my son's "business" being crammed up into his throat by the crotch of his swim trunks, or my nine year old's ass cheeks peeking out from the hem of her shorts. No, my girls are not going to be on the next episode of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras nor was my son was not the latest recipient of an atomic front wedgie at preschool. CLEARLY we have a few things that aren't fitting too well...the joys of having to clean out closets and drawers. Crap. One of my least favorite household chores. I seriously LOATHE going through my kids clothes for a variety of reasons:

1. It's a pain in the ass. Plain and simple. 3 kids, 3 closets, 3 dressers (yes, my children possess a lot of clothing...don't judge) It sucks. Add that to my regular laundry schedule and it makes me want to drown myself in my front loading washer.

2. It requires thinking. Ok, if it's just "out of season" does it still fit? Is it going to fit in a few months? Will it be too small when it's back "in season"? Should I sell it in a garage sale? When should I have a garage sale? Should I see if anyone else in the neighborhood is doing one? (this is where brain tangents can get dangerous) Should I just give it away? Was that one mine or Carrie's? Did she want it back? What the HELL is all over the front of it? Should I just toss it? If I'm keeping it where the f should I put it?

3. Storage space. My husband rolls his eyes every time I come home with a new Rubbermaid storage container. They piss him off because he knows that they are for housing more clothing for our kids. And believe me, I've gotten rid of A LOT of stuff... A LOT...but I still have more. Come on over. Take it, please...maybe. (I have issues letting go of things)

4. It sucks. It reminds me that they're not going to ever be that size again. It's not as bad with the nine or even the five year old, by that point I just want it out. But when I'm putting away the baby and toddler stuff my husband runs for cover because he wants no part in watching me snot and cry all over every.single.outfit holding up every one going "remember when she wore this one?" Hell, he'd have to look down to remember what he put on himself that day...who am I kidding?

5. It's expensive. Because once you stash them all away it doesn't mean that new appropriately sized clothes are going to magically appear to replace the old, ill-fitting ones. It'd be nice but it doesn't quite work that way. I try to shop clearances and will grab things here and there in off seasons and put them away, but I've never stocked my kids' wardrobes for future seasons. It's just not practical...even for my kids (ok: brief explanation for those who don't know me personally: my kids don't grow much, it's awesome so they stay in sizes for a long time...great on the wallet) But I still don't buy ahead. So I know for everything I pack away that is too small, odds are something will be purchased to replace it.

It'd be great if we could just do away with societal expectations when it comes to children's clothing. Get rid of the head-to-toe Gymboree ensembles with matching korker clippies and ruffled socks and replace them with one size fits all burlap sacks. Or matching utilitarian style jumpers. Hmmm, that may be a bit too San Quentin. How about just not caring if things are a bit too short or a bit too snug? I'm not talking hoochy momma short or hey-I-can-see-your-blood-moving-through-your-veins-because-your-shirt-is-so-tight kind of snug...I'm saying, a size off. Just a tad, what fit as jeans last season could be next seasons capri pants, a tiny bit of camel toe never hurt anyone. Last fall's long sleeved top will be next winter's 3/4 length. You get the idea. Your kids will never remember, as long as you don't have pictures to commemorate her having on the same outfit for 4 years running...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...
April 30, 2010 at 11:12 AM

a little camel toe never hurt anyone - tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!

Meg said...
April 30, 2010 at 12:24 PM

hahahahahaa
I don't like going through & getting rid of baby stuff either - especially when I find stuff that she hardly ever wore because it was lost in the bottom of the void of jumbled drawers the whole time & I forgot about it...
:)

Amy Lee said...
April 30, 2010 at 7:03 PM

LMAO another one I could have written.

I used to Ebay everything now I say f*ck it and donate it all. All of my oldest boy's stuff goes to the middle boy. Whatever the middle boy outgrows goes to charity. Whatever my daughter outgrows goes to my nieces.

I also have 3 closets, however my daughter has TWO dressers, so I have a total of 4 to deal with. Yes you read that right. I only wear jeans and t-shirts myself. Shit I don't even have a "dress" outfit for a wedding, funeral or nice dinner, but my daughter is always dressed to the nines. Boy clothes SUCK once they get past 1 year old, however, I could blow a whole paycheck (of my husband's of course) on clothes for the daughter....Although she's 7 now and it's getting harder to make her wear what I want. NOT looking forward to those teen years......

Anonymous said...
May 3, 2010 at 12:35 PM

Ya, you totally killed me with the 'camel toe' comment, too. LOVE you guys!!

Michelle said...
May 20, 2010 at 12:10 PM

Just did this with my son's closet and dresser....I feel your pain!

Leave a Comment