But here's the thing...the homeless woman, greasy, non-showering, unpleasantness is NOT a regular occurrence. Spending the day in sweats does not happen on a consistent basis. I do not make it a habit to schlub around in my scrubbiest clothes multiple days out of the week. Simply put, I do NOT try to look like shit semi-weekly. Yet many moms do. Scratch that. I shouldn't say they TRY to look like shit. We all wake up looking like shit. No one wakes up pretty. If you think you do, you're full of yourself and delusional and we're probably not friends in real life because you suck for thinking that highly of yourself. It's the women who MAINTAIN the overall shittiness day in an day out without any effort towards making it go away. On a regular basis. More than once a week...or twice or even three times a week. Shit is just WRONG.
I work from home, as many moms do, therefore this lends itself quite nicely to staying in jammies maybe once a week. MAYBE once a week. No need to shower, shave, and get all pretty if I'm not going anywhere but my basement to work with only the two-year-old for company, right? Even if I AM staying home to work I at least still shower...maybe put pj's back on but whatever, don't judge...But if I am leaving my house you bet your ass I'm in the shower, put on some decent clothes, make-up and am looking relatively decent to go out amongst the public. I cannot wrap my brain around the moms who go out in public looking like they just rolled out of bed. Familiar with the concepts of self-respect and self-worth? Don't you feel better about yourself if you take some time to look even a tiny bit attractive? I'm not talking Real Housewives of Orange County shit in full make-up and an outfit suited for a night out clubbing. Hell, you can make yoga pants and a hoodie look good if you TRY.
Riddle me this...why are some women's kids decked out in head-to-toe matching outfits, shoes, hair accessories, with perfectly styled hair and mom looks like she got dressed in a dark closet after just having pulled what was crammed under her bed and stepped from the nearest wind tunnel? I just don't get it, I really don't. I can't tell you how often I read of moms who admit having gone DAYS...multiple DAYS without showering or changing clothes. Yummy. I'm a mom too. I get it. I get how overwhelming and exhausting it can be and how difficult it can be to even find 3 minutes to take a shit by yourself (and that rarely, if ever, happens) let alone take a shower. But don't you just feel better about yourself as a woman and a mom if you can find time to take a 2 minute shower and dig out some clean underwear? Maybe slap on some mascara and some jeans instead of sweats? Put on a cute shirt instead of digging a grubby sweatshirt out of the hamper that has lunch leftovers smeared across the front or are those boogers? Hard to tell...but does it really matter? Shit is just WRONG...
photo courtesy of Fussy PantsLike I said, I've had my days. We all have. We have our days when our periods make us feel fat, bloated, and miserable. A cold has us so run-down that getting dressed is not an option. Being awake all night nursing a baby makes showering seem like an impossible task. I GET THAT. I really do. I've been that mom that has spent the day smelling like sour milk. I've been that mom who is so congested from a head cold I'm only grateful that I can't smell myself. I've been that mom who is so cranky and pms'ing and feels so "fluffy" that sweats are the ONLY FUCKING THING that are going on my body that day. I've had to schlep the older two to school after they missed the bus wearing ladybug pajama pants, a pink hoodie, my winter coat, Uggs, glasses, and MIGHT have brushed my hair...but I didn't get out of the car, I just slowed down long enough for them to roll free of the back tires. Anyway...the point being, I GET IT. I'VE DONE IT. But we ALL know moms who have way too many days like this far too often and just claim that "there is no time" and they just don't bother. I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for the moms who forgot what it was like to make themselves LOOK and FEEL good. Not only for themselves but for their spouse. I do myself up for myself AND my husband. He doesn't need me to be in a housedress, high heels, fresh lipstick, and pearls everyday when he gets home but shit...I can at least have showered and have on a pair of clean underwear for God's sake...how hard is that?
If someone can PLEASE clue me in to the mystery that is the schlubby, frumpy mom...I would be so appreciative. Please explain to me the phenomenon that is the mom who does not give a shit the majority of the time. I've heard the "I'm not vain" or "I don't care what other people think" bullshit before and I'm not buying it. There is a direct correlation between LOOKING GOOD and FEELING GOOD. So moms who are having a shitty ass day, sometimes all it takes is a little bit of make-up, a cute outfit, and getting the fuck out of the house...can't hurt, right? Might even help...ya never know...so please, if you have some insight into the habitual schlumpadinka, do tell...I'm dying to know..