Babysitter thy name is NOT dad...

I came downstairs last night after dinner to hear the remains of the following conversation:


DAD: "Hey guys, let's pick out a few movies to watch tomorrow night"

KIDS: "Why not tonight?"

DAD: "You're going to bed soon, they're for tomorrow"

KIDS: "What's tomorrow?"

DAD: "Mom's going out" (cut to mom in the corner doing the happy dance)

KIDS: "Are you going with her?"

DAD: "No, I'm babysitting you guys"



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Insert multiple spaces for dramatic pause effect

Yep, you read that right. My husband, the father of my children used the word BABYSITTING when referring to his own offspring. I just about punched him in the goods that contributed to said children. What is it about men that seemingly gives them the right to say they are BABYSITTING their own children? When people ask what I do, do I tell them I babysit all day? NO! Because that would imply that I am in fact getting paid to watch SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILDREN. I will never understand why men seem to think that when mom leaves the house, they have become the babysitter. Nope, not DAD...NOT the other responsible adult in the house who is supposed to be accountable for other small people in said house. Not the other person who gave them life, just the babysitter.

Last time I checked my BABYSITTER was the adorable 13 year old up the street who answered to the name of Alexis...not the stocky, hairy mouth breather who typically answers to DAD. My BABYSITTER comes on her bike and armed with a back pack full of play-doh, sidewalk chalk, and bubbles...not PS3 games, a tin of Kodiak, and a spitter. I don't get it. I really don't. When dad leaves the house, does he announce to the kids that mom is BABYSITTING? Nope. He just up and leaves. But mom has to full on prep everyone else for her departure. She has meals ready, pajamas laid out, everything is prepared, every contingency is planned for. Does dad ever consider those things when HE leaves? Nope, he just grabs his wallet, grabs his crotch and heads for the door. Whatever.

So I'm going out tonight. And I'm not going to have dinner ready when I leave, I'm not going to give the kids a bath, (I'm actually going to go out of my way to make sure they're exceptionally dirty before I go) I'm not laying pajamas out, I'm not labeling sippy cups, I'm not putting out diapers and butt cream, I'm not picking up toys and crap before I head out, I'm going to primp and get ready and I'm walking out. Plain and simple. I am not leaving a babysitter, therefore I have no one to give instructions to. He is their father, he knows what to do.

8 comments:

me said...
April 23, 2010 at 9:23 AM

I have to admit that I'm a little afraid of what you'll come back to;) Have fun!

Sneaky kind of Freaky said...
April 23, 2010 at 9:33 AM

Ah hahahaha hahahahahahaha hahahaha. Right. He knows what to do like he knows how to birth a baby. He might understand it in concept, but the possibility of him ACTUALLY getting it done... slim to none. I hope you REALLY enjoy your night out, because those kids are gonna need a bath before breakfast. I speak from experience. ;)

redfraggle37 said...
April 24, 2010 at 11:25 AM

when I have had to go to work on the weekends or work from home in my office and he is home he'll whine and go..."guess i'm babysitting..." and I look him in the eye, matter of factly and say, "no, honey, you're parenting" and go do what I have to do. Men do suck...

Anonymous said...
April 24, 2010 at 9:02 PM

This is so incredibly right on. I laughed so hard I cried. Then I sent it to my husband. I'm not the only woman who feels this way was the subject line, because we recently got into an argument about how I'm tired of the "I'm dad but I'm watching the kids for you..." BS!

Autumn Kuhn Photography said...
April 26, 2010 at 10:01 AM

haha! i just relized the other day that my husbands week off falls on the exact weekend i am leaving to go to Vegas with my mom and grandma.. i did have my sister lined up to babysit, BUT i think that i will cancel her.... no need to payh er a $100 when he can do it for free! lol It will be very very interesting to come home.. esp since he has never spent more than maybe 4 hours alone with all 3 of them, and this will be 4 days!

Marci said...
April 27, 2010 at 7:34 PM

I love you....that is all LMAO!!!!

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