DVR me ASAP

LOST comes on at 9...American Idol is on at 8...Grey's Anatomy is on at 9 but thankfully on Thursday so it doesn't interfere...but then I need to decide whether or not to watch Real Housewives of Orange County or New Jersey or Keeping up With the Kardashians. Then of course we've got Desperate Housewives and 24, tied in with Dancing with the Stars. Shit. My DVR starts smoking and I go through batteries in my remote faster than my other battery operated nightstand goodies.


'Tis a sign of the times. Check Facebook statuses any weeknight around primetime and you'll see people panicking about DVR schedules and waffling over what to record and what to actually sit down and watch in real time. Check Facebook statuses during naptime and you'll see moms galore bragging about being able to catch up on several weeks' worth of Bree Van de Kamp and the McDreamy/McSteamy team while tackling Mount Laundry (oh wait, maybe that was my status). Lives now revolve around DVRs, cable tv, ABC.com and Netflix. We rely on those as a way of keeping up with dozens more shows than should be humanly possible to watch. No human being should be able to watch every damn show ever put on the nightly line up, yet I know people with multiple DVR's in their houses who are trying to do just that.

What the hell would we do without them? Some asshole decided it would be a good idea to have tball games on Thursday nights...alrighty then, Mr. DVR is going to have to start without me because my ass has to be camped out behind the dugout. Not every mother is perfect, myself being one of them...so when I notice at 7 pm on a Sunday that we're down to one diaper in the house, the DVR is going to have to step in while I make an unexpected trip to Target.  Nor am I a perfect mom because I will admit to putting my kids to bed early so I can catch up on my shows.

But in the same breath, having a DVR has made me a BETTER mother....you read that right.  Television has made me a better mom.  My DVR has saved my ass and my sanity more times than I care to admit.  When I have pissed off my nine year old in the middle of the newest Wizards of Waverly Place epidsode with the news that it's time to go to bed...DVR baby.  I am her hero because I can hit "record" so she can watch Alex cast her spells over and over...and over....and over....and over (until dad deletes them to make room to record his 24 hour long special on the Military Channel) When my demonic two year old wakes up crabbier than when she went down for her nap...those Wonderpets definitely saved the day.  Thanks Linny, Tuck, and Ming-Ming.  The actual TV schedule means shit these days.  Who the hell cares or actually KNOWS when things actually come on anymore.  We just record them and watch them when we want to and have time.  Technology definitely rules the world, and I'm ok with that. 

But in all honesty...they're friggin awesome. Who the hell needs commercials? I could live the rest of my life without seeing a mop singing "Baby come back" or watching a bad actress spray Febreze into smelly gym shoes and jock straps. Watching someone pour blue shit onto a maxi pad isn't going to encourage me to buy them because last time I checked Windex wasn't what came out of me last month...how 'bout you? So f*ck commercials...bring on the DVR, I'm ok with my life revolving around it. I'm ok with getting laundry done in a more timely manner while fast forwarding through stupid shit. I'm ok with spending time with my kids at tball and softball while I miss my shows. Watching TV in real time is a foreign concept now, I point the remote wildly at the TV and wonder why the hell nothing is fast forwarding and I'm left watching some weird ass silhouette wandering around bitching about asthma or depression or itching, burning and discharge...don't remember which...either way I wish I had DVR'd it so I didn't have to sit through the bad advertising. So for the times I can and do DVR, it makes me thankful for technology. Eat your heart out Laura Ingalls Wilder.



**And for the record...the post was written a while ago, I figured with it being "season/series finale time" it was fitting...ironically enough we have since gotten rid of cable...**