Much like women everywhere, I have realized with a looming sense of dread that bathing suit/shorts/capris/tank top season is just around the corner. Well, shit. I wish I could say I was one of those people who work out regularly. I'm not. I wish I could be that person updating Facebook with stories of my triumphant running abilities or how I just kicked some serious ass doing a dvd and can't wait to do it again tomorrow. Clearly my sister has tried that, and we all know how THAT turned out. I AM trying to get better though, I really am. Just ask me how I feel about Jillian Michaels (crazy, soul-sucking, sadistic bitch). I'm doing my best to get "shredded" and now that the weather is improving (knock on wood) I'm getting outside more with the jogging stroller I just HAD to have, but it was most recently being utilized as a wheelchair for my daughter and the neighborhood kids while they played "hospital" if that tells you anything.
In addition to stepping out the workout regime, I've also been making a more conscious effort to eat better. Well, easier said than done when one has 3 small children (one of whom threw a tantrum over being told she could NOT have 2 oatmeal cream pies, a bowl of cheetos, and fruit snacks for breakfast) And easier said than done when mom has zero willpower. 'Cuz one of the biggest reasons I try not to keep that stuff in my house is because I will end up eating it. I would gladly plow my way through a box of Little Debbie's but just sitting here thinking about it...I can HEAR my ass getting bigger.
So here's what I've been trying to do...for breakfast I will try to eat oatmeal, an egg white omelette, whole wheat toast, yogurt, fruit, etc. (not all in one meal mind you) My oatmeal has to be ridiculously sweetened, putting fresh fruit on it does not help; I'd rather eat the paste that was on our tables in kindergarten. In fact, I'm sure that's how they MADE that paste. Egg white omelettes...my problem with omelettes is that I think they taste way better with things like sausage, bacon, and cheese. Sure, go ahead, throw some tomatoes in for good measure. But JUST scrambled egg whites with green peppers and mushrooms? Where's the fun in that? I may as well just eat the egg shells while I'm at it. Damn, eating right can be boring as hell. Where is the sour cream? The cheddar cheese? SOMETHING, anything drowning in butter??? Now, I'm not a big breakfast eater to begin with; it's just never been my thing. So if I'm going to make myself eat something right away in the morning, it better damn well be worth it. So far my options are making me want to just sleep until lunch...not a bad idea regardless. I usually end up choking down a granola bar and adding extra creamer to my coffee (fat-free of course!)
Lunch is tough because this is typically when I go total stay-at-home-mom and my lunch ends up being the rest of my coffee from that morning, the few remaining chips off of one kids' plate, a handful carrot sticks, and the crusts of their grilled cheese sandwiches. Stellar nutrition at it's finest right there. So I've gotten myself a few of the microwaveable options. They just SOUND so fancy you're positive they're going to be the most amazing thing you've ever eaten and won't you seem so sophisticated when you tell the other moms at playgroup that you just had Baby piccolini pasta in a garlic white wine sauce with fire roasted asparagus and braised lamb shanks on a bed of parsnip puree? Some are relatively decent, some disintegrate or turn into carcinogen laden hockey pucks in the microwave, and some I can't even get the woodland creatures in our backyard to finish off. So most days you'll find me eating cottage cheese and whatever vegetables we have in the fridge (and still finishing the kids' grilled cheese...don't judge). But I figure if I eat cucumbers they will negate the grilled cheese...I'm bound and determined to find research to prove this.
Snacking is my downfall, my weakness, my Achilles heel if you will. I LOVE me a good snack, which is why instead of saying NO to the little Girl Scouts, I go seeking them out, begging them to sell me cookies (WHY they only sell those damn things at certain times of the year is beyond me...brats) Anyway, some people prefer salty snacks, some are sweets eaters. Well, therein lies my problem. I would not think any less of someone if they offered me an Oreo cookie nestled atop a Dorito. But I've tried to make better choices in the snacks I have available not only to myself but everyone else in the house as well. However, since discovering 100 Calorie Packs, let it be known that I hoarde those. My family is unaware of their existence in our pantry and it will stay that way. That is one snack I very, very much enjoy. And hell, 100 calories in one little pack? Heck of a deal! But not so much when you eat 3 packages within 15 minutes. Shit. But several other snacks have been a big fat mega fail in my book. I'm convinced that a few companies sat down one day and realized they had an overabundance of cardboard lying around so rather than throw it away, they added some seasoning and called it a "cracker" hoping no one would notice. Well, I'd rather not have to pay for what I can clearly dig out of my recycling bin in my garage, thank you very much.
I'm hopeful that now that I'm in my 30's, I can develop some good new habits in terms of exercise and eating. I WILL make better choices, I WILL give myself the cheesy line that in a way, I'm doing it for my kids and despite my best efforts, I WILL take you out if you come within 20 yards of me with a tray of baked goods.